Toe ek hierdie man se verhaal lees, kon ek my kinderlewe weer sien.
Ek en my boeties en sussies was nog baie klein toe die welsyn ons van ons ouers weg geneem het.
Vir 'n tyd was ons by pleeg ouers op pad na 'n weeshuis.
Op 'n dag, kom haal die maatskaplike werker my boeties en sussies na die weeshuis en ek word agter gelaat omdat ek 'n oogprobleem het en na die skool vir blindes in Worcester moes gaan.
Tot vandag toe kan ek die groot leë rooi stoep onthou waar ek vir 'n lang tyd alleen gesit het.
My ouers was weg en nou was my boeties en sussies ook weg maar ek het genade by ons Here gevind. Want jare later toe ek uiteindelik op Sy klop aan die deur van my hart geantwoord het, het Hy my van my groot leë stoep lewe opgetel en Hy dra my nog vandag in Sy sterk arms.
So, as daar 'n groot leë stoep, of soos in hierdie man se geval, 'n "blank space" in jou lewe is.
Ons het 'n liefdevolle Here wat dit met Sy liefde wil vul.
Laat Hom dit sommer vandag vir jou doen.
Blank Space
By Roger Dean Kiser, Sr.
"Boys, this is your new home now. This is where you will live from now on," said the tall, black haired woman who was standing in front of us Kids at the orphanage home.
"Will this be our home for ever and ever?" asked one of the orphan boys.
"This will be your home until you grow up and go out onto your own," she replied.
"I didn't even get to tell my mommy good-bye," said the little boy, as he slowly bowed his head and he began to cry.
"Don't nobody love us, no way. We won't never have the good feelin', Ever again." I said out loud.
"You shouldn't talk like that, Roger. You're just a little boy," said the woman.
"But that's the truth, ain't it? Don't nobody love us kids. We won't never be able to have a mommy and daddy ever any more. Will we?" I questioned her.
The room fell totally silent as we orphans looked up, waiting for her to answer. But she never did answer. She just looked away and she said not another word.
I was six years old when I was told that I would never again have a mother or a father to love me. I'm not even sure that hearing those words from her made any difference to me. But I do know this: I knew right then and there that there would never be another hug, or a kiss for me. I knew right then and there that there would never be a Piggyback ride or anyone to ever be proud of me.
As I sit here fifty years later I try, as best I can, to remember exactly what it was that I felt at that very moment. But for the life of me; I draw nothing but a total blank. A total blank must have been what I felt at the moment that she spoke those words to us orphans.
A blank space is all that I was given to build a life upon. For years I went to various reform schools, jails and then on to prison in 1965. I walked out of prison on February 6th, 1969. That was the first day of my life that I was ever free of the system. I had no where to go and I had no where to turn.
All I had was a baggy old suit, that the prison had given me, fifty-five dollars and that blank space I had been given as a Child.
I was sent back to Alaska where it was fifty-five below zero when I arrived. I lived for several days in a game-room, sleeping behind the Pin ball machines.
Within a week I was broke and I had nothing to eat. I asked the state of Alaska for help but no one would help me. I begged for food from the army soldiers who would come to town on leave. Finally I left Alaska two weeks later with twenty dollars a man had given me.
I did as best I could to build a life with whatever I had left. Which ofcourse was that blank space that the orphanage had given me.
Over the next thirty years I was married and divorced six times, and I had 4 children. I could never understand why the marriages would not work. I was kind. I was hard working and I was faithful.
Now as I look back I can see that all I really had to share with them was that blank space that I carried inside myself. I don't suppose that they will ever understand that I really did give, and share with them all that I ever truly owned. My "blank space."
Many people have asked me what it takes to be a writer. I always tell them that what is most helpful to me is that I always start with a blank Page.
Roger Dean Kiser, Sr.
Roger Dean Kiser lives in Brunswick, Georgia with his wife Judy.
Roger is the author of "Orphan, a true story of Abandonment,
Abuse and Redemption", and his newest book Runaway: Life
On the Streets--"The Lessons Learned".
Cornelia Parsons
E-mail: princess4@absamail.co.za
Judas 1:24-25
Aan Hom nou wat magtig is om julle vir struikeling te bewaar en julle sonder gebrek voor sy heerlikheid te stel met gejuig,
25.
aan die alleenwyse God, ons Verlosser, kom toe heerlikheid en majesteit, krag en mag, nou tot in alle ewigheid! Amen.
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